27-year-old confronts 32-year-old fiancée after she keeps letting her family extend their welcome: 'Her mother hasn't left in 4 months!'

This was not the arrangement this dude signed up for!

It's hard not to be sympathetic to the fact that the family of this author's fiancée frequently needs help. The problem is that at a certain point, help cannot come at the expense of someone's personal boundaries.

This author was happy to let his future in-laws stay over at his home every once in a while, but an indefinite amount of time is where things get tricky. There are a few remarkable issues in this dynamic. The first is that the fiancée's family didn't provide any help in return. 

Sure, they needed a place to stay, but they could have also provided groceries, prepared meals, cleaned up after themselves, etc. There were many ways to show their gratitude, and it seems like these folks didn't do anything to say thank you.

To make matters worse, the fiancée couldn't fathom why this was becoming a problem for the author, who felt like he was going insane over this extended welcome. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the reactions from several members of this online community!

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  • 01
    A man sits on the couch, looking away from a woman. Both appear to be in a disagreement.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • The future does not look bright for this couple. Unless they manage to come to a mutual understanding about how to move forward with all this family drama, it's hard to imagine a proper compromise that will please all parties involved. It seems that the fiancée is experiencing a considerable amount of guilt, feeling like she can provide help for family members, but not being able to respect her future husband's personal space in the process. At this point, it's on her and her family to start brainstorming for a better solution before it's too late.

  • 02

    "[Am I wrong] for not letting my fiance's family crash over at my house?"

    I (m27) have been with my fiance (f32) for 7 years. I am a resident in training but come from a financially comfortable background, my parents brought me a nice house like a year back.
    via babybullah
  • 03
    My fiance works in retail, comes from a Modest family and had a very struggling childhood. I try my best to give her the best life possible but lately what's bothering me is the fact.
    via babybullah
  • 04
    That the new house has extra bedrooms like 3 extra and since we have moved in somehow all her family members are having problems of somesort or have troubles with their own places and she lets them stay in .
    via babybullah
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  • 05
    I don't mind a overnight stay but they stay for weeks and her mother hasn't left in 4 months. Now I come home to her brother or sister chilling on the couch and watching TV or using my ps4.
    via babybullah
  • 06
    Sometimes some aunt or uncle comes to visit her mother and they stay for days.
    via babybullah
  • 07
    I don't speak Spanish, I don't understand much what they say and feel excluded in my own house. Whenever I try to talk it with my fiance she keeps repeating what struggles her
    via babybullah
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  • 08
    family is facing and how they are important for her happiness. .everytime i bring it up she gets upset like its my fault that they live with us or find excuses to crash at our place
    via babybullah
  • 09
    I don't think i can take this anymore, neither her family looks like they're grateful.
    via babybullah
  • 10
    A man sits on the couch, looking away from a woman. Both appear to be in a disagreement.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • 11
    GreekAmericanD... 20h ago NTA You need to stand your ground on this and set a boundary hard. This is not what you signed up for and you deserve your peace.
    via babybullah
  • 12
    they are important for her happiness What about your happiness? You never signed up to run a hostel or half-way house. Don't expect the relationship to survive, but you are being used.
    via babybullah
  • 13
    TheDarkHelmet1... • 19h ago NTA.. Your fiancé is showing you what married life will be like with her. You really do marry into her family and she yours and if this is a constant in her families lives, that won't change when you get married.
    via babybullah
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  • 14
    Advice = sit your fiancé down and have a hard conversation. Ask her if she thinks this is ok and if she thinks you have any say in whether her family stays or not. Make clear that this is
    via babybullah
  • 15
    not fair to you as 50% of the relationship and renter/owner. Tell her that this is not acceptable to you long term and that it is a hard line that you guys need
    via babybullah
  • 16
    to come to an agreement on BEFORE you get married and not after. I promise you this won't go away with marriage.
    via babybullah
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  • 17
    Dagger_Dig • 19h ago . NTA kick them out and maybe her too. 2 weeks is the soft cut off 3 months is the hard one, if you're on 4 months something is fundamentally wrong and either they start paying rent and you work something out or they leave.
    via babybullah
  • 18
    Suspicious_Juice... . 19h ago NTA Key Point: FIANCÉ. This isn't her house. Period. My husband is bilingual and his family speak some English. When they come to visit they treat me with respect and we all do our best to be respectful.
    via babybullah
  • 19
    What they do NOT do is treat my house like an airBNB. I get the cultural differences but it's YOUR house and you need to hash out these details about guests. It's not ok for your to be an outsider in your own home.
    via babybullah
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  • 20
    Secret-Alfalfa-5411 · 19h ago . RUN!!! Fast and far! This will only get worse.
    via babybullah
  • 21
    A man sits on the couch, looking away from a woman. Both appear to be in a disagreement.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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Tags

family drama aita house family feud entitled people karma family fiancee entitled people
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